self-imposed confinement

Someone recently told me that they left facebook because it made them feel claustrophobic. I loved the notion of being confined in virtual space.
The same person told me that they didn't want to grow up. I can relate. As we get bigger the world gets smaller. It might open itself to us through information, but each opening is also a closing of other possibilities. We're trapped, ultimately, in a sphere without any implicit order. Being younger was great in that the sphere seemed expansive; remember that the world was yours at some point. Through the passage of time, that which is yours becomes more clearly defined. You see your limits. You might fight through them sometimes, but others you accept. Is getting older simply dying; possibilities get reduced until they'll fit into a wooden box or an urn right alongside you. . .

Years ago a friend of mine and I waxed on how the 21st century is fucked because the younger generation has nothing to believe it. I'm part of that. I know some people are socially active and that those people will claw and crucify nonbelievers until they're crying from frustration, but I don't see the system falling. It's comfortable for those in power and deadly for those without. Its structure makes too much practical sense.
It won't go away. Not when more people know about the socialite prison scene than the Darfur crisis or GITMO. Not when dialogue is shushed so people can listen to their IPods or watch their newest indie band on their personalized computer. Not until people value others, irrespective of political, racial, cultural, sexual, or linguistic affiliations. Not until people would rather be kind than make money. Not until, ultimately, hell freezes over and Satan teams with CCM and Nike to give away ice skates to anyone looking to rekindle lost humanity. . .

So I started this blog to be claustrophobic. I want get into my own space and kick at its limits. It'd be nice to feel a breath of mine against my own neck and wonder if it wafted in place for a year whether bacteria would grow to reveal my insides to the world. If it does, I'll open myself metaphorically; the poison will also be the growth, something like the headache medicine that'll give you a migraine but then cure you permanently.
Yes, I'm confining myself in order to be unconfined.
That's rationale, now aren't we glad i started this.